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A resource for pregnant girls and
women with unplanned pregnancies
"the gift of life is in your hands"

Birth Mothers



Martina

I found myself pregnant at 19 in the early 70’s. My home life was a disaster, my mother was dead and my father an alcoholic. Telling him about the pregnancy was out of the question. My boyfriend and I decided that the best option was to have our baby adopted. We contacted a Catholic Adoption Society and started the process and they try to match adoptive parents of similar backgrounds with ours.  

My darling little girl was born after a difficult labour. At this stage despite all good intentions I had not banked on the effect of hormones and the emotion I felt for my little girl. I had my little one with me for ten days after which we signed the adoption papers.

We carried on with our lives. We kept our little girl on our minds at all times. It was difficult at times. I prayed that we had done the right thing for our baby. Time moved on, we married and had two more children. Life was good and busy.

When our daughter turned eighteen we were contacted by the adoption agency saying that she wanted to contact us, I cried with joy when I read that letter. Within a few months we met her, lots of emotion, hugs and tears.

The following  morning my very wise daughter gave me a hug and said “no regrets, we’re starting from now”. That is exactly what we have done; she became part of our family.

Adoption is a good option. Though not easy it has its rewards, to know that your child was loved and cherished by an amazing couple. This has brought comfort and joy to us and makes it worthwhile.

We give life to our children we do not own them  - we share them, with friends, partners etc.      
     
Martina,
Co. Galway


Christine

I was 22 years old when I had a baby girl born in Dublin, date of birth 17/12/1975. She was in a nursery for three months. Olivia I called her. She was placed with an adoptive family when she was 3 months old.

It wasn’t easy for me to keep her at that time. Adoption was the right decision. But I always thought of her. I sent birthday cards every year, but still no contact, no photo.

The woman I stayed with in Dublin always kept in contact with me. The social worker did also.

I took some photos in the nursery before she went to the family. I have kept them safely.

Then in April 2013 I received a letter from her. In the letter she said she always knew she was adopted and has had a really good life with her adoptive family. She is educated, in a job she loves and happily married now. She said she was aware I was looking to meet her but asked me to respect her wishes and that she didn’t wish to do so at this time. She apologized if the letter caused me any hurt but would know how to contact me, should she change her mind.

It is good to know that she is happy but I would love to meet her. Hope she will change her mind one day, please god. She is 42 years gone now since December 17th.

Yours truly,

Christine,
Co. Mayo


Anne

I write about my time of finding myself in the position of being pregnant and on my own.

It was Ireland in 1973, then a very different time and being pregnant was a big shock to me. I thought things out for myself and I looked for help in total confidence, away from everybody including family.

I was a very brave girl, many things rushed through my young mad head then. What could or would I do?

Happily things fell into place for me. I got great help through the adoption agencies when I made my mind up that my baby could have and should have a good upbringing in life. I put my baby first and myself second.

I am a very happy joyful mother today and I'm very proud of my handsome young man. I am also the proud mother of my young girl who was adopted as well.

I say to any young girl today who finds herself in a difficulty with pregnancy - be brave and take all the help and support offered to you. Do not be enticed into any short cut ie, getting rid of the baby.

Any girl who chooses abortion will surely regret it for the rest of her life. It will never leave her mind.

I'm so happy and glad I chose life. You will be glad you choose life too.

Every good wish,

Anne,

Co. Sligo


Mary

When I was 17 I got pregnant. I was too terrified to tell my parents, and when I told my boyfriend, he didn’t want to know. I did not know how to deal with it. I didn’t know what to do.

I eventually told a friend and she took me to a doctor. He confirmed I was pregnant and when my friend explained my circumstances, he put me in touch with a priest. He helped me move in with a family in another county.

I knew I couldn’t keep my baby.  So when my daughter was born, I gave her up to an agency for adoption. It was very difficult, but I knew it was the best thing to do for her.

When I returned home my parents had found out and I was amazed how supportive they were. As I tried to get on with my life, I thought of my daughter every day. I lit a candle every year on her birthday.

A few years ago I got in touch with the adoption agency. With the wonderful help I received from them, I met my daughter. She is a beautiful, kind woman. She had a very happy childhood. Her parents love her very much and she brought great happiness into their lives.

Through all the pain, I now have a wonderful friend in my life. She has met my children and they have great love for each other. I am so grateful I made the decision to have her adopted.

I feel privileged to share my story with you. I hope it will give you hope. We have no idea what journey this life that is growing inside us will take. We don’t know what they will become or how many lives they will touch. We don’t know the lives they will bring joy and happiness to.

All I know is, I am so grateful I gave my daughter life.

Mary, Galway.


Maureen

Hello,

My name is Maureen and I live in the Mid-West of Ireland.

I got pregnant very young at the age of 21. It wasn't planned although I had a steady boyfriend. He wanted us to get married but I didn't think it was the best idea at the time. I was very young and not ready to settle. I was really shocked and unsure what was the best thing to do.

The gift of life was in my hands. We needed to give this baby the gift of life that s/he was fully entitled to have. Therefore, we chose to go the adoption way. That was 1980.

It was hard growing up in rural Ireland at this time. I grew up in a big family with very strict parents.  Some of my family were very young. In those days it was hard to speak about personal stuff to them.

When my son was born it was a very painful decision. It really broke my heart to give him up. I had myself convinced that adoption was the only way forward. I felt that I was giving him the gift of life which he so deserved. We were also making some other couple so happy.  Where there is life there is hope!

We wanted the best for our baby boy. I could not live with myself if I had an abortion.

An Irish couple adopted our baby. They had two more adopted children and he was the youngest in the family. It was tough going for a while, very emotional. My boyfriend and I decided to have a break, went back together and got married some years later. We now have more children. 

I used to think of him lots, always wondering was he ok. When he reached the age of 25, I decided to look for him. I was advised that it was a busy phase of his life, college etc. and to leave it for a few more years until he was in a better place. So we did that. As the years passed along and he was now a good age, I tried to make contact again. The purpose of meeting him would be to discuss our experience of having lost a relative and our future hopes and expectations. The organisation made a search on our behalf and got in touch with him!

About six months later we received a letter from him. We were delighted to hear that all was well and that he was ok. It was very reassuring.He spoke with the social worker a few times.  I believe it all came as a  big shock to him so it took time for him to digest it.  He was brought up in a very kind, loving family but he didn't want to upset his adoptive parents by letting them know that we had been looking for him.  His adoptive parents would be a good age now.

All this was very emotional to deal with.

We respected his decision that he wouldn't move on it now but he has said he will at some point in the future. He too was very happy to hear from us and to know we were well.  The rest of our family know the story. They are all welcoming of him, if and when he decides to make contact again.

We are very happy to know that he is ok. We look forward to the future.

Maureen

Mid-West

 




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